The weekends made me nervous. I'm not even going to lie about it, I started planning on Tuesday what I was going to fill my weekend with and how I was going to keep myself busy. I am so thankful for my understanding family and friends. They were and continue to be extremely patient with me. I found a website that kept me busy with crafts and recipes. Bored is a dangerous place for me to be. I am easily distracted so I had to be creative and innovative about finding things that could keep my attention. What God was doing was amazing. I wasn't feeling lonely. The intensity of the headaches decreased with each day that passed and I was getting my appetite back. I was thankful beyond words for this and knew I was only going to feel better as time went on. Only people who struggle with drinking or any addiction will understand this, but it robs you! It weakens the bond of family, eliminates trust, creates superficial relationships and insecurity, it kills, steals and destroys. I have always thought if I get my life right, go back to church and stop partying I am going to have to give up everything I love. Let me tell you...there is MORE freedom away from it than with it. The song amazing grace has a different meaning to me now.
How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now I'm found
Was blind, but now I see
'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed.